The Decimal Doesn't Move (duh)

I recently sat down with my 10 year old 5th grader to help him with his math homework.

I say I sat down to help, but the truth is that arithmetic and are are actually not the best of friends. In fact, I get sweaty palms and feel a warm flush just thinking about my own experiences in ye old math classes.

I was what fancy folks now call Gifted/SLD with very strong verbal skills and frighteningly challenged mathematical skills. Most of my teachers didn't understand my kind of ability back then and I spent a lot of time feeling humiliated by both my inabilities (why can't you get this) and my abilities (how can someone so smart be so dumb). Suffice it to say, these memories do not signal the highlight of my youth.

It helps for you to know this because it will explain the emotional roller coaster that I experienced from approximately 4:15 to 4:30 on that fateful afternoon.

I heard the call, panicked, put on a happy face and sat beside him. My knee twitched as I pulled out my iPhone and opened the YouTube app and took a deep breath. (This is what I do when my kids ask for help outside of the language arts. There is always someone out there who can help me out). Then I saw the assignment: decimals & exponents. We were dividing numbers like 1.23 by 10 to the second power.

Hot diggity! This is math I actually know! Bring it.

My posture straightens, my brow cools. Heck, I place the iPhone face down on the table, turn to him and begin. I am eloquent (if I do say so myself) and share all the secrets I learned when I, too, had to divide and multiply decimals by integers of ten.

I smile conspiratorially, lean in & say, "This is my special trick: When you multiply, you move the decimal to the right; when you divide, you move it to the left. Like this,"

Then I launch into three examples that are truly breathtaking by all accounts. I look back at my son, expecting an amazed expression -- after all, I am just short of David Blaine level when it comes to math magic at this moment -- and he is looking at me with pity.

He shakes his head slowly with soft eyes, the way you do when someone is trying, but just not quite getting it. Then he says, "Mom, the decimal doesn't move."

Blank stare.

He tries again.

"Decimals don't move, Mom. They are fixed." He speaks the word slowly, as though I am hard of hearing or maybe not so good at the English language or maybe recently suffered a bump on the head.

He continues, "Numbers move. Like this" Then he launches into a brief explanation that involves a chart and arrows and other things that I just can't explain so I'll give you a visual (see below).

As he does, he stumbles onto the answer to his original question. He is excited; as always, my pint-sized Taurus loves to learn and he loves to be right.

He is doing his celebration dance (lots of "uh huh's" and "go me's" with a very funny face) but I am not sure what to do. On one hand, I am ecstatic that he found the answer. Ecstatic that he loves to learn and loves to succeed academically. On the other, I am back in time, feeling like I am lost in the math world. I am afraid that this corner of the academic world has (once again) left me behind and I have no idea what in the world he is talking about.

I feel obsolete and inadequate.

This is when the personal impact of the new shift to Common Core hits me. It is not as cut and dried as some folks would make it out to be. It is a wonderful and terrifying thing. It represents a change in what I knew -- and I didn't know much in that area -- and presents a whole new way of teaching and learning that leaves me (an educator by trade) feeling confused and inadequate, yet excited by what this could mean for students. At the same time, it is the key to my 5th grader "getting it," so much so that he can use what he knows to think rationally and deduce the correct process he needs to use.

The educator in me knows that is good stuff. Really good stuff.

So while I am uncertain and I am leery, I am also excited and encouraged. And I can't help but wonder if someone had laid a similar foundation down for me, would I feel the way I do about math today, or would I be empowered by my deductive reasoning skills the way my son has?

Not sure, but it's definitely food for thought.

Until next,

No Gimmicks, but Still Golden

Today I read on Facebook that a friend lost 20 lbs.

She looks amazing: lean, strong, happy.

There's a comment or two that emphasize that she did this with "no gimmicks" just clean eating and working out. I couldn't help wondering what people might think in response to this.

As I've gone through my own fitness journey, I've had people try to get me to go with gimmicks. Worse yet, now folks are hitting me up for quick fixes like I have a secret stash of crack and we are in an alley somewhere.

I don't know what to say: gimmicks don't work.

If gimmicks worked, the weight I lost on a gazillion fad diets over the years (Atkins, cucumber/vinegar drink thing, lettuce diet, you name it; I did it!) would have worked. I would have lost weight and ridden off into the sunset with my perky little rump.

It didn't happen for me.

It isn't likely to happen for you.

You can't get a shot and live off of 500 calories a day or sprinkle something on your food or restrict yourself to only certain foods, none of this, etc. and expect your body to respond as it should. Oh, you might get a short term response, but in the long term that fat is gonna slap you like a gelatinous boomerang. It will not be pretty people. Not pretty at all.

I think I've said it before, but I will say it again: It takes time, energy and determination to gain weight; it will take time, energy and determination to lose it.

These are the brakes.

The friend I mentioned above happens to be a fitness professional. She teaches kicka$$ classes in the DFW area. The kind of classes that make you pray out loud, maybe even grunt from time to time.

Consider that: She works out for a living. She knows what she is doing and has the support of one of the best personal trainers I've ever met. And it still took 6 months to achieve her hot, lean look. Six. Months. Although she was trading fat lbs for muscle lbs, that still works out to less than a pound a week.

People come to me and want to lose twice that in half the time. I'm not sure that this is realistic, but I am certain it is not wise. More certain that anything that fast is not likely to last long term.

Here's what I am thinking. Consider making small, sustainable changes in three-week segments. Here are five small steps to get you started:

1. Integrate a comprehensive supplement (multivitamin, Shakeology, calcium, iron, magnesium, B12). 
2. Establish a realistic workout program and stick to it.
3. Commit to one serving of root vegetables every day (carrots, beets, sweet potatoe, jicama, leeks).
4. Integrate one serving of leafy green vegetables every day (spinach, cabbage, brussel sprouts, artichokes, collard greens).
5. Spend 15 minutes listening to or 10 minutes reading positive, edifying words (personal development, spiritual, work related, goal oriented content) each day.

If you concentrate on committing to one goal at a time for 3 weeks each, that will take you just under 4 months. I'd love to know how the scale moves and your measurements change with this simple series of commitments. No fireworks, no rah rah, but you will succeed and change your life.

I am rooting for you and believing in you.

Until next,

Engagement: A goal worth pursuing

A few years ago at about this time, I set a goal for myself.
That year, the goal was engagement.

I wanted to feel planted in each moment and often (far too often) I felt that I was only feeling the true impact of events after the event had passed.

I ran, ran, ran full throttle through each day and in the quiet moments -- like 3 minutes before I succumbed to exhaustion -- I would smile when I remembered the tenderness of my children's kiss. The wonder in their eyes. The sadness that lingered in the corners when they waited for their turn to hold my attention, undivided. The subtle kindnesses of my husband. The smile from a clerk in the market. Anything. They tickled the edge of my consciousness like falling snowflakes, melting before I could really grasp the impact of each.

As with most things, I mastered this skill when I was at work but by the time I got home there was nothing left. It was a difficult, disconnected time in my life.

Years later, life has slowed. The old me would probably make small gagging sounds if she saw how slowly my days pass, often doing only one task at a time and moving to the beat of a slow bass line rather than a racing snare.

Some days I wonder if the sacrifices I've made to live life at this slower pace are worth it. Other days, there isn't a doubt in my mind. Today was one of those days.

I have a woman in my seated strength training class who recently started attending classes again. She is stately and graceful and kind. She also suffers from dementia as a result of Alzheimer's.

I am new to her which means that on any given day or time she may know me and she may not. All we have for certain is each moment. In that moment, she may not know my name or my face but -- if I am engaged and present -- she will always know my kindness.

Today we shared an hour. We began laughing and hip shaking to the beat of "Kansas City" by Wilbert Harrison. The 30+ years between our ages melted and there was a fierce shimmy breakdown as we giggled like school girls. The class began and I could see her focus fade and return throughout the hour. As she left she remembered me again, we connected over my new found home in a town she'd lived in for years and then she was gone again, body present but mind lost somewhere in time.

This is why we must claim each moment. Why we must pay whatever price there may be for living fully in the present, for seeing each person truly. In an hour and fifteen minutes, I may have had 10 minutes of clarity with this beautiful woman. Perhaps less. But each moment was precious. Each moment lifted my spirit and recharged my soul. I would like to believe that her spirit and soul felt the same.

As you "resolve" this year to make changes for the better, know that it may take years to inch toward your goal, but the measure of a worthy goal is in the beauty revealed as a result of its pursuit.

I wish you love.

Until next,

Confronting Your "Why Nots" - First Steps to Committing to Change

About a week ago, a FB friend asked for input on why folks who have lost weight/gotten in shape finally made the decision and stayed commited to it. Further, she asked what their reasons were for resisting this process in the first place. What kept them in that unhealthy, unhappy boat?

I surprised myself by my response. I knew EXACTLY what stopped me from losing weight. Almost like I'd rehearsed it: the words flowed like a poem I knew by heart, like lyrics to a favorite tune. In fact, it was harder to explain how/why I made the change than it was for me to explain why I didn't for so many years.

Interesting.

That, my friends, is what is on my mind today. I know that so many people are thinking of what they'd like 2013 to bring. I also know that many of these folks will list weight loss as one of their goals. Ultimately, I know that the reasons and rationales that have kept them in an unhealthy pattern will return like theives in the night to attack these well-intentioned efforts.

I believe, with every fiber of my being, that you must face the opposition, size it up and get real about the challenges they pose if you are going to be successful with any campaign. Behavior modification isn't war, but it sure can feel like it.

So what to do, what to do?

Before you get real about your "why," get real about your "why not." Your "why" is the reason that motivates you. It is the fire that keeps you moving forward toward your goal. Conversely, your "why not" is the wet blanket that threats to douse that fire. It is the secret inner monologue that has allowed you to find yourself in the place and space you currently inhabit.

Today, I'm encouraging you to confront your "why nots." Understand what has been stopping you so you don't get sucker punched by these ideas when they pop up later & threaten to side line your efforts.

In my case, I stayed heavy for so many really good reasons. First, my focus was on being a good mom, being a great teacher, and being a good wife. None of these required me to be physically different. After all, my days of clubbing in clingy clothes were over. Who was I trying to impress? Just my husband and he was fine with my curves. I wasn't trying to catch a man and the one I had was happy.

To be honest, my "motherly figure" was actually a plus at work because it made me completely non-sexual. Kind of a plus when you are teaching hormone-heavy teens.

Further, it was easier to deal with adults when I was overweight. Women weren't catty. Men weren't hitting on me. Heck, I didn't even draw a second look most of the time.

My extra weight was a cocoon of warmth that was sexually neutral and the epitome of zero threat. I wasn't so big that I was somehow offensive or socially unacceptable. In so many ways, it was perfect!

Can you imagine how difficult it is to choose restraint, hard work, exhaustion, embarassment, frustration and fear every day when these things were the alternative?

Losing weight is hard. At least it was for me. I had to change what I ate, how ate, when I ate, why I ate. I had to change how I moved, when I moved, why I moved. I had to feel my body melt and morph and mend. Worse yet, I had to watch it happen. It didn't always look good and it wasn't fun.

In those quiet moments, I was choosing between the warm blanket of pounds (or my fat wubby :-) and the cold loneliness of sore muscles and the feeling that something was always missing from my plate.

Surpised to find me say these things? I know, it might not be what you'd expect from a motivator, but a big part of success is facing the situation from a place of honesty.

Ya gotta get real. Yes, there were some things about being overweight that felt like major benefits, yet there were also some aspects of that life that sucked, plain and simple.

I felt uncomfortable in almost everything I wore. An outfit never looked like it was supposed to look on my body and fabric folded in embarrassing ways.

I couldn't wear dresses. I went years without wearing a dress because if the wind blew that fabric flattened molded against my curves and NOT in a good way.

My skin had marks all over it from where fabric or skin rubbed and chaffed. It tooks months after I'd hit my goal weight for these marks to go away.

My asthma went ballistic. I was having trouble breathing when I sat down and watched movies because the rolls and boobs applied too much pressure to my chest. True story.

I got winded going upstairs. My home became a house of yells and shouts because that was the fastest way to communicate without actually tackling those stairs.

My husband loved me as I was, but I didn't feel sexy at all. There are aspects of intimacy that really require you to feel sexy in your skin. You are a completely different person behind closed doors when the skin you are in "fits." & that's all I have to say about that.

I realized that I wanted to let my sons know that they can have a nurturing mom who is also fun, healthy and yes, sexy. I started thinking about the true message I was sending to them: that sexy women are associated with pre-motherhood and that post-motherhood that all shuts down. What man looks forward to that? Would that silent message impact their decision to commit to someone, would it cause them to resist the idea of building a family?

I knew that once the weight left and I got noticed people might get mean. People  might remember that I was a female, that I was a sexual being, and that (for whatever crazy reason) might make me a threat. I don't like drama. Kinda hate it. I don't like cattiness. Kinda hate it. I don't like it when folks are mean to me. Really hate it. But, if it comes down to a choice between my health and someone else feeling threatened: That person can suck it. Seriously.

Ultimately, the weight loss journey became the single most profound of my life. I reclaimed certain parts of my personality and gained a new-found strength. I learned to deal with conflict graciously instead of avoiding it using unhealthy habits. In short, I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with the real world on my own terms instead of hiding from it in a 60 lb fat suit.

This is what you have to remember when you are making changes. Yes, it can stink in the moment; be honest about that. But when you are being honest, remember to also be honest about the fact that sometimes when we make a wrong turn, the journey back to the right road is long and bumpy. That is a basic truth, so deal with it. The cherry on top is that you gain so much more than you could ever lose.

It won't be fun while you push toward this goal.

You will go with out things you'd like to have.

You will miss things you've had that feel familiar (and good).

You will be uncomfortable. Sorry, it's true.

And you will be stronger and better and healthier and more balanced than you could ever imagine.

You will be more centered in your own shoes because you will have defined yourself, from the inside out.

This is what you have to think about when you commit to a major lifestyle change. List your why nots. Write them down and then give a reason each isn't valid. Post them somewhere you can go back and review them when you need them. Acknowledge that you are losing more than just the weight and then realize that you are gaining something each and every day.

This is where you will find your fuel: through honest release of what is lost and faithful pursuit of what is gained.

Stay tuned for more on the role of journaling as you move toward success!

Tis the Season to Stay Sexy!( New Vlog on YouTube)

Rise of Creative* Fitness

Cool things are afoot in the fitness world, folks: Beachbody is merging with Powder Blue Productions.

I won't pretend to have a complete handle on this thing, but I can tell you that two fitness powerhouses are joining forces in a way that I believe is new to the fitness world.

From what I understand, many of the formats that you love in the gym like PiYo and Hip Hop Hustle will soon be available at home in your living room just as TurboKick and Les Mills PUMP are now.

Conversely, many of the formats that you love at home like Insanity and Brazil Butt Lift will soon be available in a gym near you just as P90X technically is now, although I am not familiar with any locations that have it yet.

Before you start slipping into a someone-put-peanut-butter-in-my-chocolate and someone-put-chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter vortex, I implore you to keep your knickers on (and perhaps to remember that a chocolate and peanut butter combo is quite delicious): from where I'm sitting, this move is brilliant.

If you add the new a la carte movement in group exercise (like Group FX), that provides pay per event fitness "concerts" with fitness rockstars, I think I'm noticing a trend here. It looks like fitness is actually being led by the consumer for a change.

As a fitness fan, I have to say I dig it. I dig it a lot.

Consider your frustration with classes that you love being cut at random. It happened recently at a chain that I worked for. All of a sudden, Hip Hop Hustle and PiYo were gone from the schedule in a poof! Wham, bam, thank you but it's gone, ma'am. If you couldn't get it at your gym, you were pretty much screwed. You could go to another chain, but that might mean losing your favorite instructor or losing another program that the chain chose not to carry for whatever (very corporate) reason.

No matter what, there always seems to be a sacrifice when it comes to fitness and I'll admit, as an instructor, Beachbody coach and participant, I have wondered why.

Why can't I get the formats I love with instructors I love at times I love? Okay, maybe not all at once, but can I get a little Zumba at home on a Thursday at midnight? It's weird, but yes. Yes I can. There is a Wii game, an Xbox Kinnect game & a series of awesome Exhilarate videos to soothe my craving. I can find it at my local gym and even in the club (Zumba-ritas, anyone?) in some cities.

I suppose that's what I want for my other formats as well: Access. Let's keep it real, it is hard enough to include exercise in our daily lives without adding hoops and hurdles to complicate the process. When I find what I love, I want to be able to get my sweat on without a headache.

It's funny, when Beachbody launched Les Mills PUMP at home, a friend who taught PUMP in the gyms thought it was competition. Huh? I don't see TurboJam & TurboFire undermining TurboKick in gyms. Not in the least. If anything, my love for gym Turbo made me realize that I NEEDED access at home. Nothing is worse than a Turbo fiend without a funky groove and a punch/kick combo. Trust me, very twitchy & kinda sad.

So what does this mean for folks who aren't associated with either Beachbody or Powder Blue? Do you even have a runner in this race? I think so. In my opinion, community and choice are two of the most important factors in a successful fitness program. If you've been an island on the free weight floor, it might be cool to collaborate over the BodyBeast program. If you have been busting your hump at home with Insanity, you might take that craziness to a whole other level in a gym setting -- I know the Nike Training camp folks seem to love it and that is both an app and a class in the gym.

If nothing else, consider a world that allows you to choose your own date, time, location and format. Kinda cool, huh? With this kind of unprecedented creativity, your excuses would all but disappear. And, of course, that's a good thing!

In fitness and freedom,

*Rise of Creative is a reference to Richard Florida's book, Rise of the Creative Class (a good read!)

Always something more to be grateful for

Funny how a new place always brings new blessings and new opportunities. Yes, moving can be scary. But as a former military kid, child of divorced parents and as one who had a somewhat free-wheeling young adulthood, I have moved over 20 times and I can tell you that moving can be an amazing opportunity for renewal, growth and discovery.

For me, moving to Texas was life-changing. My marriage strengthened. My faith strengthened. I became a healthier, more balanced person whose time and energy allocation reflected her values.

Now, it seems, Louisiana is bringing me delicious little blessings anew.

It's been two years and a few months since I made a lifestyle change. Committing to fitness was a decision that was a long time coming and, like most folks, my journey is/was laden with a complicated web of emotion.

As a wife and mom, one of the major motivators for my transition was that I wanted to be a better me for my family. The strange thing is that my family kind of complicated things. My husband is not really into fitness. He's always been naturally slim and active in the "I played ball in school" kind of way. My younger son is also naturally thin and he is also naturally active -- playing outside, etc.

My 12 year old has my bone structure, my father's build, and my natural reluctance to physical exertion. He also has my love for food. And so, it seems, he's inherited my predisposition toward collecting and hoarding weight. When I caught the fitness bug, he was sure to keep his distance -- didn't want to risk catching it, ya know.

Like many parents who start this journey hoping to be a role model, I have found myself saddened by a new quandary. How to help my child understand the value of all we are and all we've worked to become and understand the importance of personal development.

I'm not one for sugar coating: Being overweight isn't okay and it's not cool. It also doesn't make you a bad person any more than any other unhealthy choice does. So how do I convey the need to feel good about himself at the same time I convey the need to work on areas that could make his quality of life better?

While many facets of my life were amazing in Texas, this one fact -- my son's personal battle with weight, activity and eating habits -- tugged at my heart strings.

It's true. He has developed into a kind person who is considerate of others and who has learned how to balance his emotions, engage the world respectfully and conduct himself with integrity. When I call this kid a rockstar, I am not overstating his indisputable awesomeness. Still, I know a little something about weight and the truth is, people shy away from activity and overindulge in food for a reason. As his mom, that's what I'm interested in helping him with next.

Of course, when you are 12 and male, your mom is probably dead last on the list of folks you want to talk fitness with. My son is no exception. Unfortunately, my hubby is a team sports guy and my son is not, so that's a dead end. For my love of Beachbody, he hasn't found a perfect fit in the Bb family. And my gym in Texas required him to be in the kids club (nursery) till 12. Upon his 12th birthday, he was released into general population & I am cool, but not quite that cool! He's still my baby & there is no way he's going out there to fend for himself on the fitness floor.

So whodathunkit? Life brings us to Youngsville, Louisiana and the big gym here is a little place called Red Lerille's Health & Racquet Club. This gym has a workout facility for kids from 9-12 so BOTH my sons can establish a healthy appreciation for fitness. There are basketball courts that kids can use (the ones at my old gym were there, but they were often contracted out to groups for practice and my kids were too young to use it anyway). I'm not sure if you can see it, but there's an indoor track that borders it on the second level. Again, I'm cool, but not that cool. Gotta get my mommy-stalk on!

There is a conditioning room just for kids from 9 -12 that has treadmills, stair masters, medicine balls, a TRX (OMg!), staffed conditioning hours (included with membership) and even kettle bells and Nautilus machines (for later). And there are pools with open areas to swim -- like with an actual stroke -- in open water.

Click here for more photos of Red's.

This place is insane & it's more than I could have ever dreamed of. More than I knew to hope for. It's crazy to think that I could discover my heart's desire here, in very last place I could have ever expected. As you move through your day -- through your life -- I encourage you to remember the amazing possibilities that exist for you if you keep your heart open and trust in the infinite possibilities.

Here's to a new chapter in family and fitness. Can't wait to keep you posted!